She was always very busy. Whether she was hanging freshly washed sheets out on the sun-drenched clothesline, feeding table scraps to the hungry neighborhood strays, mending our well-worn school clothes or baking her famous drippy-gooey cinnamon rolls, she was never idle. With four young children to raise, she had no time for boredom and no opportunities for loneliness. She had a deliberate way of filling every minute and every day with meaning, rich experience and warm memory.
As the eldest of her four children, I can see that we each had a special, equal yet individual, part of this very young, beautiful wife and mother. We felt secure and knew beyond doubt that we would never be neglected or forgotten. She was always within a safe distance, and never hovered possessively. One of her gifts was knowing where that fine line was between support and suffocation, and she was careful not to cross it.
There were times she would almost magically appear when we needed her. Ready and available with her calming presence, unspoken support and formidable strength. Her "sixth sense" guided her to us every time we needed her most.
She was born to be a mother. At eighteen years of age she began fulfilling her destiny, giving her a clear and unwavering purpose in life. Motherhood was her special "calling" and her obvious gift. She realized this at the moment of my birth.
We were blessed to have her in our lives. We were her focus, her world. Our survival, health, happiness and maturity were her daily concerns. She wanted her children to grow to be well-adjusted, honorable, happy adults. To grow up feeling a sense of responsibility, pride and self-respect, respecting God and country.
She deeply believed that responsibility, a realistic viewpoint toward life, compassion, flexibility and a deep, optimistic sense of humor were the best defenses against all that life would throw in our way. She lived her principles with a charming, self-effacing sense of humor. She gave us a firm and stable foundation on which to build our adult future selves. And I am grateful.
Depending on her was a very easy, natural thing to do. Her melting smile and nurturing hugs contained the magic to make the whole world better instantly. Compassion and tender mercy radiated from her much like the warming rays that flow from a summer sun.
She was an alert student of human nature, and she learned at an early age how cruel life could be. Instead of mourning her lost childhood she turned the bitter memories into cautionary lessons for her own children. She remained a realist with a romantic's soul and looked at life directly, honestly. She taught us these precious things through example and gentle, yet firm, direction.
Her capacity for empathy was uncommon. She was so filled with inherent kindness and sweetness that she warmed anyone who spent time with her. And whenever we were separated, there remained a lingering, comforting fragrance of memory.
She had the tenacity of a pit bull with the grace and manners of a show-quality purebred collie... but anyone who threatened her children saw the fierce lioness always prepared to protect her young. She would smile at this description, flattered because of her deep love and admiration of animals and nature.
There always seemed to be a sparkle in her eyes, as if she glowed from somewhere very deep inside. Even during painful or harsh times her sparkle would bubble just below the surface, ready to burst into a warm, iridescent glow. Her soul cracked with the spark of those who know how to survive life with a smile in their hearts.
She had a marvelous way of instilling these values in us, providing us with a sense of pride and loyalty that we still use and treasure. Learning from her was an exciting, entertaining, interesting and fulfilling time of my life--it was my childhood.
Reflecting back all those years ago, I remember the painful times, financial hardships, losses, tragedies and struggles. However, even with the bad times--maybe because of them--her presence, her lessons taught so much. I am able to savor every memory knowing that everything she taught me will benefit and sustain me all through my life...and in honor of her, I pass these lessons on to those who touch my life.
